Room: Roman Samborskyi/Shutterstock; Elon: Bob Daemmrich / Alamy Stock Photo.
If I’m being honest, I’ve never been one for keeping a journal, but here we are. How can I change the world if I’m not broadcasting my thoughts unfiltered to as many people as possible? And who’s going to save humanity if not me? Plus, my friends online said I should keep posting, and it just doesn’t give me that sense of fulfillment if I can’t see all the tiny little hearts making me feel special. To motivate me to stay off social media, my accountant made me print out the 2022 stock graphs from all my companies and tape them to the wall above my desk, but it hasn’t worked yet.
I know I overspent last year, but to be fair, I tried very hard to return my biggest buy. The courts just wouldn’t let me. It’s some consolation that all my buddies have had down years as well. Bloomberg said the world’s 500 richest billionaires lost $1.4 trillion last year. But Forbes still said I was the biggest loser. 😢 I’ve got a plan to get that article taken down though. I just put in a call to find out how much it would cost to buy the website.
Maybe it’s just being over 50, but epic nights just don’t have the same allure anymore. Ever since I met up with a friend to go to a comedy show, I haven’t felt like going out again. Everyone there was just so rude. We should go back again and pack the place with nicer people. This time, we’ll limit ticketholders to people with a Twitter Blue subscription.
OK, so I recognize the fact that I fired all the accountants that worked at Twitter, but I did set an alarm in my phone to pay the rent. I just couldn’t find funds in any of the business accounts. They all seemed overdrawn. And I had no idea the landlord was going to sue us for $136,000 after just a few months. Good thing I have my stockpiles of Bitcoin—I can always liquidate a few million to keep us afloat. Or maybe sell off a few more shares of Tesla. They aren’t thrilled with me anyway.
After I shared a meme with my friends followers recently, some of them told me I missed the whole point of 1984, Brave New World, and Fahrenheit 451. I might take a crack at rereading them. Grimes also sent me a book about connecting with your kids that I never opened, but it’s laying around here somewhere.
I can’t believe it’s awards season already! I’m so busy tweeting working every year that it always sneaks up on me before I have time to watch all the big movies. I saw Top Gun: Maverick and Avatar 2. I feel like I’m kind of a cross between Maverick and Jake Sully in a way, but cooler. I mean, let’s be real: Neither of them have a Space X rocket or a Cybertruck. Everyone says Glass Onion is their favorite movie of the year. And they all looked at me weird when they said that. Supposedly it’s hilarious, but I’m not sure why. Can’t wait to see it!
Journaling isn’t so bad, but I’d rather just be sharing all of my resolutions with all of my friends in a newly improved 4,000 word tweet. Should I abandon my journal? I will abide the results of this poll.
Yes 100%
No 0%
1 vote
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1712 Rio Grande Street, Suite 100
Austin, TX 78701
512-263-9133
© 2023 Open Sky Media
All rights reserved
Website by Web Publisher PRO
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